Love dating and sex what teens want to know
In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists.
When they weren't doing BMX and skateboard tricks in front of the post office, they were spending what money they had at the nearby arcade, or spinning on stools and shooting straw wrappers in their favorite burger joint, just across the street. We had gotten in the habit of him driving me home, and my suddenly wanting to make different arrangements seemed to inconvenience everyone. As I got older, however, the more I realized that my experience was not an uncommon one.
The Real Truth About Teens and Sex By Sabrina Weill Excerpt from Chapter 1Truth #1Teens Have Secrets About Sex (and They Want Adults to Know Them)Exclusive National Survey Results Teens: Tell the Truth!
Do you have a secret about your sex lifethat you'd never tell your parents? or get yelled at." —Bethany, 17, New Jersey Many parents have confessed to me that, at some point, they have experienced a nearly irrepressible urge to rifle through their teen's backpack. practically emblazoned with "Read me—she'll never notice."It's understandable that parents would want to do a little investigating.
Teens Want to Close the Communication Gap As I was starting research for this book, I sent an e-mail to teens saying, "Listen, I know it can be hard to talk about sex, so if you tell me your secret thoughts, feelings, and actions, I'll share your words in a book, to help adults understand where you're coming from and how best to help you."You might think teens would say, "No thanks!
I'll keep my most intimate thoughts to myself if it's all the same to you." It is, after all, the rare teen (dare I say, no teen) who wants to break the news about what they're up to sexually to their own parents.
Even though we know teens have a social life that frequently doesn't include adult supervision, the oft-sudden realization that they may be hiding such an important part of their lives can be a startling wake-up call.
Just as a teenager's life gets more complicated, the stakes get higher: heartbreak, STDs, and pregnancy become immediate risks.
What's really going on You don't have to look too hard in your local paper, on the news, or yes, even in my e-mail inbox, to find panic-inducing stories about teens having group sex at parties or on buses or playing sex games and getting pregnant at tender ages—these rumors and trends are addressed in the next chapter.
There was something especially cool about being friends with them. ""So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him."This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him. It seemed just about every woman I knew had a similar story, a time when wanting attention meant getting the wrong kind entirely.
We were still at an age where our parents insisted on treating us like children. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. All I had was my instinct and discomfort — a bad gut feeling. When I write novels, there is always a clear trajectory: the beginning, middle, climax, and end. "We'll go somewhere."And that's when I said it."."My own voice — big, firm, filling the space — was a surprise to both of us. When I turned 21, I remember making a point, regularly, to look at teens and ask myself whether I'd want to hang out with them, much less date one. As a teen wishing to be an adult, it is easy to get in over your head.
Because of this, I was drawn to people like my best friend, who was dynamic and bold.
She was the one who things happened to, the starting point of every story. He, in turn, went to find my friend and her boyfriend, who were none too pleased at having to leave so soon after we got there. Hearing that he wanted more felt like wading into the deep end. had feelings for me, I felt strange every time I saw him.But at the same time, many teens do not have the maturity, judgment, or sophistication to make possibly life-changing decisions regarding sex without the input of an older, wiser adult. "And I think I can help—because teens confide in me.